Warning, chummers: some spoilers and puns.

Wurm – Journey to the Center of the Earth was released in 1991 for the NES (Nintendo Entertainment System for the young punks). Obviously the fourth generation of console gaming had already begun by then, but I like to think that Moby, Wurm’s protagonist, was too busy doing heroic stuff to avoid being fashionably late. Anyway, if you hadn’t guessed already, Moby is the greatest NES heroine! Not convinced? Hahaha! Oh…really? Fine!

Samus AKA Shamus and many others have to be dealt with before we can declare Moby the obvious winner. Don’t get me wrong: I won’t talk about every 8-bit babe, but who doesn’t think of the game Metroid when NES ladies come up in conversation? Dig this: the Metroid manual uses the pronoun “he”, not “she”; the character’s gender is unrecognizable throughout the game; and not all endings point to lady parts. Samus is at best a Manbot and at worse a TNA reward for budding boys. Get dunked!

Shamus

All art provided by blind orphans.

Peach me another heroine to knock out of the park. Get it? Hehe. Sure, in between kidnappings, Peach did find some time to star in the Doki Doki Panic ripoff for the NES; but other than her name, what do we know? She wears a dress, I guess. And what’s with the name anyway? Might as well have called her Tasty Morsel. Oh, spoiler alert! Her heroine role? Not even real. That’s canonical, man! I didn’t dream it up. Okay, okay, I’ll stop.
Peach

Oh, Peach, you finally decided to turnip.

Let’s blast through some more ladies so we can talk Moby, baby. Ripley in Alien 3 is pretty cool, but that’s a film heroine, really, and the game says little to nothing about her. Athena? Cutesy, tootsy little protagonist with hardly a dimension to her. Kaede from Shadow of the Ninja was beast, but, alas, paper-thin too. Guardian Legend girl? Uh, more of a fembot, and she has no name. Haha! Hey, great game, but what can I say? Rockin’ that bikini bod though, amirite?

Guardian Legend

Frankly, she looks a little plane.

So as you can see, out of the few female protagonists that exist, you won’t find many with any depth whatsoever. Do they have a love interest? Family? Friends? Aside from the Famicom version of a Mega Man clone, there isn’t much else to say here. Oh, okay, Ghost Lion? The sappiest take on femininity of all time, and *spoiler* the ending is just a hair shy of “it was only a dream.” Hell, even if we believe the protagonist, the alleged victims don’t. In fact, they think you’re an irresponsible piece of crap, and you can’t prove them wrong. Boss!

Ghost Lion (NES)

Also, poor little Maria is in Bread.

I could end the article here, but all I’ve proven is that the NES needs a heroine gap filled. Well, how does Wurm do it? It digs deep! *canned laughter* Honestly, when I started the game, I wasn’t so sure I’d be won over. After finishing it, however, I have this advice for you: finish the game! Look up hints, use your turbo controller, whatever. If you like story, finish this game! It gets stronger as it goes along. How so though, and what makes Moby different?

Moby Crossover

 His hip style?

Within the game itself, Moby’s position and mission are made abundantly clear. She is the leader of the VZR-5 vehicle, and her companions have names, strengths, and weaknesses. That means their tips are sometimes very useful. Other times, their tips are crap.

Wurm Robot

TFW your friend’s stupidity literally hurts you.

As you hit cutscene after cutscene, visually repetitive as they can be, you begin to feel for these characters. Can Moby save her friend Ziggy? Is Ziggy more than a friend? What happened to the other VZRs anyway, and what do the villains want? It goes further than you’d expect, with some lives lost and some saved, connections to friends and family deepened or discovered, etc.

Throughout all of it, Moby is key. She isn’t alone, but she is the heroine. When she suffers, we suffer with her. When she succeeds, we, too, are victorious. Just as Moby can fail, so can Wurm. You aren’t likely to consider it the best game on the NES, not on the merit of its gameplay alone anyway, but if you truly give the story a chance, it’s likely to resonate. The ending, like much of the story, doesn’t take the easy way out. Don’t take my word for it, however. Beat that Wurm!

Hope of Moby

*weeps bitterly*

About The Author

Khaulepi

Fish out of water for the moment, but gaming is always on my mind.

Related Posts

  • Pingback: 123movies()

  • Pingback: S/M()

  • Pingback: DMPK()

  • Pingback: friv 1()

  • Pingback: amnesia()

  • Pingback: small dining room furniture sets()

  • Pingback: iraqi geometr4y()

  • Pingback: manutencao informatica()

  • Pingback: iraaqi Seo()

  • Pingback: full time equivalent services for chemistry()

  • Pingback: GVK BIO New Deals()

  • Pingback: http://guaranteedppc.com()

  • Pingback: warehouse for rent()

  • Pingback: 3$#()

  • Pingback: 루비게임 엘리트게임 루비게임주소()

  • Pingback: home11()

  • Pingback: ar ini()

  • Pingback: sbobet mobile iphone()

  • Pingback: more info here()

  • Pingback: DMPK studies in Boston()

  • Pingback: http://bitcoincasino.blue()

  • Pingback: online pokies New Zealand()

  • Pingback: hard fuck on bed()

  • Pingback: http://bitcoincasino.today/how-does-bitcoin-casino-operate/()

  • Pingback: www.bitcoinsportsbooks.info()

  • Pingback: how to make money with iphone()

  • Pingback: next()

  • Pingback: top 10 kiwi casinos()

  • Pingback: Best online casino reviews in New Zealand()

  • Pingback: buy nandrolone phenylpropionate()

  • Pingback: freshamateurs740 abdu23na8762 abdu23na47()

  • Pingback: freshamateurs5 abdu23na494 abdu23na7()

  • Pingback: newtube tube planet575 afeu23na8939 abdu23na26()

  • Pingback: tubela.net441 afeu23na227 abdu23na35()

  • Pingback: tubepla.net download694 afeu23na1139 abdu23na83()

  • Pingback: buy steroids()

  • Pingback: DMPK metabolism studies()

  • Pingback: Chemicalfrog()

  • Pingback: in vitro PK screening()

  • Pingback: Free Teen Chat()

  • Pingback: bulk Pharmacokinetic studies()

  • Pingback: Previsione meteo()

  • Pingback: read review()

  • Pingback: paypal hosting()

  • Pingback: freezer labels for containers removable()

  • Pingback: cialis generic tadalafil for sale()

  • Pingback: albuterol inhaler()

  • Pingback: tylenol acetaminophen()

  • Pingback: rx generic viagra()

  • Pingback: cheap viagra()

  • Pingback: Viagra 120 mg generic()

  • Pingback: generic viagra()

  • Pingback: order Viagra 200 mg()

  • Pingback: Viagra 130mg nz()

  • Pingback: Cialis 10mg nz()

  • Pingback: Cialis 10mg united kingdom()

  • Pingback: buy generic cialis()

  • Pingback: generic viagra()

  • Pingback: tadalafil 20 mg online()

  • Pingback: medications without a doctor's prescription()

  • Pingback: viagra sans ordonnance livraison rapide()

  • Pingback: arimidex 1mg without prescription()

  • Pingback: baclofen 25mg without prescription()

  • Pingback: canadian pharmacy viagra()

  • Pingback: how to buy catapres 100 mcg()

  • Pingback: ceclor 250 mg australia()

  • Pingback: order ceftin 500 mg()

  • Pingback: celebrex online()

  • Pingback: buy celexa 20 mg()

  • Pingback: cephalexin 500 mg australia()

  • Pingback: cipro 250mg cost()

  • Pingback: claritin 10 mg coupon()

  • Pingback: doubleu casino()

  • Pingback: online slots()

  • Pingback: online casinos for usa players()

  • Pingback: online casino real money paypal()

  • Pingback: online casino games()

  • Pingback: casino slot games()

  • Pingback: hollywood casino online real money()

  • Pingback: vegas casino online()

  • Pingback: casino slots()

  • Pingback: casinos online()

  • Pingback: car insurance quotes in michigan()

  • Pingback: collector car insurance quotes()

  • Pingback: good to go car insurance quotes()

  • Pingback: 21 century insurance()

  • Pingback: foremost car insurance quotes()

  • Pingback: direct general car insurance quotes()

  • Pingback: general car insurance quotes()

  • Pingback: allstate car insurance()

  • Pingback: general car insurance quotes()

  • Pingback: compare car insurance quotes()

  • Pingback: small personal loans()

  • Pingback: no credit check payday loans()

  • Pingback: payday loans online()

  • Pingback: installment loans near me()

  • Pingback: quick loans in sc()

  • Pingback: bad credit loans las vegas()

  • Pingback: payday loans mn()

  • Pingback: instant personal loans()

  • Pingback: cbd oil wholesale distributors()

  • Pingback: cbd oil dosage for breast cancer()

  • Pingback: amoxicillin online canada()

  • Pingback: printable cbd oil handout()

  • Pingback: what is cbd oil used for()

  • Pingback: cbd oil reviews complaints()

  • Pingback: cbd oil and fingolimod()

  • Pingback: cbd oil for dogs with anxiety()

  • Pingback: cbd oil and fingolimod()

  • Pingback: the best cbd oil on the market()

  • Pingback: school assignments()

  • Pingback: buy a essay()

  • Pingback: essay writing service usa()

  • Pingback: paper writer generator()

  • Pingback: what is the best essay writing service()

  • Pingback: professional paper writers()

  • Pingback: scholarship essay writing service()

  • Pingback: buy nothing day essay()

  • Pingback: essay writing service australia()

  • Pingback: essaywritingservices.us.com()

  • Pingback: cleocin generic()

  • Pingback: clomid usa()

  • Pingback: clonidine cheap()

  • Pingback: clozaril cheap()

  • Pingback: colchicine 0,5mg medication()

  • Pingback: combivent for sale()

  • Pingback: cost of coumadin()

  • Pingback: how to buy cozaar 100mg()

  • Pingback: where to buy crestor 5mg()

  • Pingback: cymbalta 60 mg generic()

  • Pingback: dapsone caps without a doctor prescription()

  • Pingback: ddavp uk()

  • Pingback: depakote generic()

  • Pingback: diamox without a doctor prescription()

  • Pingback: differin cost()

  • Pingback: diltiazem 60mg over the counter()

  • Pingback: doxycycline pharmacy()

  • Pingback: elavil 50mg united kingdom()

  • Pingback: erythromycin 250mg over the counter()

  • Pingback: where can i buy etodolac()

  • Pingback: buy flomax 0,4mg()

  • Pingback: flonase nasal spray without a doctor prescription()

  • Pingback: i need help on writing an essay()

  • Pingback: garcinia cambogia caps pharmacy()

  • Pingback: geodon 80 mg over the counter()

  • Pingback: order hyzaar()

  • Pingback: imdur generic()

  • Pingback: cheapest imitrex 25 mg()

  • Pingback: imodium nz()

  • Pingback: my sources()

  • Pingback: imuran prices()

  • Pingback: indocin 75mg price()

  • Pingback: lamisil over the counter()

  • Pingback: levaquin 500mg cheap()

  • Pingback: how to purchase lopid 300 mg()

  • Pingback: lopressor 100mg usa()

  • Pingback: where to buy luvox 50mg()

  • Pingback: buy macrobid()

  • Pingback: meclizine online pharmacy()

  • Pingback: mestinon for sale()

  • Pingback: buy micardis 20mg()

  • Pingback: mobic 7,5mg without a doctor prescription()

  • Pingback: motrin for sale()

  • Pingback: nortriptyline nz()

  • Pingback: buy periactin 4 mg()

  • Pingback: phenergan without a doctor prescription()

  • Pingback: how to purchase plaquenil()

  • Pingback: cheap prednisolone()

  • Pingback: prevacid canada()

  • Pingback: prilosec 20mg cheap()

  • Pingback: proair inhaler 100 mcg pharmacy()

  • Pingback: proscar online pharmacy()

  • Pingback: protonix 40mg pharmacy()

  • Pingback: provigil 200mg price()

  • Pingback: pulmicort 100mcg usa()

  • Pingback: pyridium purchase()

  • Pingback: reglan 10 mg without a prescription()

  • Pingback: cost of remeron()

  • Pingback: retin-a cream 0.05% without a prescription()

  • Pingback: revatio 20 mg canada()

  • Pingback: risperdal prices()

  • Pingback: where to buy robaxin 500 mg()

  • Pingback: rogaine nz()

  • Pingback: seroquel cheap()

  • Pingback: singulair otc()

  • Pingback: where can i buy skelaxin 400mg()

  • Pingback: cheap spiriva()

  • Pingback: buy tenormin()

  • Pingback: thorazine 50 mg united states()

  • Pingback: buy toprol()

  • Pingback: tricor cost()

  • Pingback: valtrex 1000 mg online()

  • Pingback: vantin 100mg usa()

  • Pingback: verapamil pills()

  • Pingback: voltaren 100mg tablets()

  • Pingback: wellbutrin 300mg tablets()

  • Pingback: buy zanaflex 4 mg()

  • Pingback: zestril canada()

  • Pingback: view()

  • Pingback: zocor generic()

  • Pingback: zovirax 200mg medication()

  • Pingback: zyloprim 300 mg no prescription()

  • Pingback: zyprexa online pharmacy()

  • Pingback: where to buy zyvox 600mg()

  • Pingback: sildenafil without a prescription()

  • Pingback: tadalafil 80 mg prices()

  • Pingback: furosemide without a doctor prescription()

  • Pingback: escitalopram 20mg no prescription()

  • Pingback: aripiprazole 15 mg price()

  • Pingback: pioglitazone tablet()

  • Pingback: where can i buy spironolactone 100 mg()

  • Pingback: where can i buy fexofenadine()

  • Pingback: glimepiride nz()

  • Pingback: cheap meclizine 25mg()

  • Pingback: leflunomide canada()

  • Pingback: atomoxetine australia()

  • Pingback: donepezil online pharmacy()

  • Pingback: anastrozole online pharmacy()

  • Pingback: irbesartan for sale()

  • Pingback: dutasteride over the counter()

  • Pingback: olmesartan 20 mg cost()

  • Pingback: buspirone nz()

  • Pingback: order clonidinemg()

  • Pingback: how to buy cefuroxime 250mg()

  • Pingback: citalopram online pharmacy()

  • Pingback: cephalexin 500 mg no prescription()

  • Pingback: loratadine tablets()

  • Pingback: clindamycin australia()

  • Pingback: clozapine otc()

  • Pingback: prochlorperazine otc()

  • Pingback: buy cialis on line()

  • Pingback: carvedilol 3.12 mg cheap()

  • Pingback: warfarin 2 mg tablets()

  • Pingback: rosuvastatin 20mg for sale()

  • Pingback: desmopressin 0.1 mg tablet()

  • Pingback: divalproex 125mg otc()

  • Pingback: cialis viagra()

  • Pingback: trazodone united kingdom()

  • Pingback: tolterodine australia()

  • Pingback: acetazolamide 250mg without a prescription()

  • Pingback: fluconazole generic()

  • Pingback: phenytoin 100 mg without a prescription()

  • Pingback: oxybutynin pills()

  • Pingback: cheapest doxycycline 100 mg()

  • Pingback: bisacodyl nz()

  • Pingback: venlafaxine 75 mg purchase()

  • Pingback: order amitriptyline 25 mg()

  • Pingback: where can i buy permethrin 30g()

  • Pingback: cheapest erythromycin 500mg()

  • Pingback: estradiol 1mg uk()

  • Pingback: etodolac cheap()

  • Pingback: how to buy tamsulosin 0.4mg()

  • Pingback: zestccve()

  • Pingback: alendronate 35 mg over the counter()

  • Pingback: how to take viagra 100mg()

  • Pingback: nitrofurantoin australia()

  • Pingback: where is zithromax cheaper()

  • Pingback: isosorbide 20 mg cheap()

  • Pingback: sumatriptan 100mg online()

  • Pingback: loperamide 2mg united states()

  • Pingback: where can i buy cialis()

  • Pingback: canadian pharmacy viagra()

  • Pingback: azathioprine 50mg united states()

  • Pingback: precio viagra en farmacias()

  • Pingback: the best essay writing service()

  • Pingback: how to write a hypothesis for a research paper()

  • Pingback: writing essay my holiday()

  • Pingback: writing essay help()

  • Pingback: how to write a business essay()

  • Pingback: ivermectin 50()

  • Pingback: buy albuterol australia()

  • Pingback: gemfibrozil without a prescription()

  • Pingback: metoprolol 25 mg united kingdom()

  • Pingback: clotrimazole 10g purchase()

  • Pingback: doxycycline penicillin()

  • Pingback: prednisolone acetate goodrx()

  • Pingback: clomid 50()

  • Pingback: priligy in islamabad()

  • Pingback: diflucan liquid()

  • Pingback: interactions with synthroid()

  • Pingback: propecia results photos()

  • Pingback: neurontin action()

  • Pingback: metformin recall 2017()

  • Pingback: paxil and alcohol()

  • Pingback: plaquenil ocular toxicity()